Velvet Goldmine

______One day, I decided I wanted to get rid of aaaaaaaaaall my undergrad paintings which were stored in my parents' basement.

______This decision was made after Spring cleaning my room for the second time and deciding something somewhere didn't feel clean enough, that I had to get rid of more things, that there were still cobwebs that needed to be cleared. This decision was also made because I felt I needed a new start with my art (*snaps for unintentional rhymes) as I near the start of... dun-dun-dun... grad school; thus, I put them all up on Facebook for sale. I kind of laughed in my head; I wasn't expecting anyone to really bite at them because to me most of them were fairly old, needed some help here or there, or seemed like paintings where I learned something rather than came to a conclusion of sorts.



______But we are our own worst critic, and they all sold. I spent the next week delivering them with help from my dad's Yukon and many blankets so the paintings would be snug as a bug in a rug on their way to their new homes.




______In my humble bumblebee option, it's more beneficial to have you paintings hanging in someone's home rather than collecting dust, long-legged spiders, and unfriendly ghost spirits in a basement. I've got a photo archive of all my work, so what more do I need with the physical object taking up space? Plus there's that whole thing about money. I have yet to truly become attached to anything I've made.

______After selling everything on Facebook, I received a solid amount of painting commissions, so now I'm looking at getting about four more done before the end of the summer. Here are two (thankfully the largest I'll have to be painting) that I've gotten out of the way this past month.

______Have a fabulous start to your week, my fair feathered friends.

Sensory Tables, 2016

oil on panel, 4'x4'

Untitled, 2016

oil on panel, 3'x3'

Lilac Muscles / Smoke Stars

Lilac Muscles / Smoke Stars

various fabrics, puffy stars, beads, fiber fill, piping, ribbon

9' x 4'

______Last week, I took a week and a half off to take a beading workshop in a tiny town in North Carolina. I lived Thoreau-style in a cabin in the woods that possessed absolutely no Internet or cell service, and it was quiet, quiet as could be. The only thing I heard at night was the occasional hoot of an owl and the rushing stream just yards from the cabin. And also this cracking noise the heat made whenever it cranked on that sounded like someone was trying to break in through the glass front doors. But that's just a detail.

______Though there wasn't much around the cabin itself, there was a Walmart some 20 miles off, fully furnished with all a human needs to survive. Even better, there was a creepy man loitering around the drink isles. Upon seeing me place a six-pack of diet root beer in my cart, he floated over to me like a bee to a flower, his yellow mustache wiggling as he spoke. He proceeded to tell me about how he makes the best alcoholic root beer floats ("not your daddy's root beer float" as he said... thanks for that, bro). I kept trying to slowly pull away but he kept following and managing to make eye contact. Strange men, y u gotta be like that?

     

______Upon signing up for these classes, I was afraid it was going to be super hokey, but it was the most relaxing, fun, and immersive experience I had. I don't care how cheesy that sounds. Immersive! Relaxing! Fun! I sound like an advertisement.

______At night, the school always had some kind of event going on in the common area, whether that be story telling from students, local legends with their banjo music plucking up a musical storm, or square-dancing for the more socially-inclined. I'd usually just sit with my laptop in a cozy rocking chair at night in front of the coffee machine, greedily sucking up their wifi and their decaf. Because that's the kind of terrible person I am.



______Anywho, here is my most recent project that I'm sure most of you all have seen on Facebook, Instagram, or some other social media that we're acquainted on. Normal blogging shall resume!

"Containment" Opening

______This past weekend I had my first solo show in a gallery owned by an instructor at a local college. The gallery itself is actually an old church which received a facelift a while back: the floors were refinished, the walls were heightened, and lights were added to the ceiling, but the exterior still retains its weathered white paneling and gothic peaked windows. In conclusion, it's a rad-tacular space, dudes and dudettes.

______There was quite a crowd at the opening, as the gallery owner knows quite a bit of artsy inclined folks over on that side of the state, and a few of my dedicated friends who lived one or two hours away came by, too, which meant the world to me. I encouraged everyone to touch whatever they wanted at the beginning--because everything is made from super tactile fabrics, are sparkly and definitely meant to be inviting.

______And but of course, the world's most supportive parents were there! That's right--Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were at my opening.

______I kid, I kid.

Genesis

Genesis, January 2015

polyester, muslin, paracord, panty hose, piping, plastic wrap

9'x8'x12.5'

______My final drawing class was presented with a most excellent opportunity this semester where we were able to work with composer Anthony Braxton by responding to his works and having it shown next to his illustrative music compositions in a gallery off campus. The composition I received was an hour long symphony of an exciting women making the most fantastically wacky sounds with her voice and some crazy saxophones. Braxton's approach to making music is pretty abstract with a grounding in tradition, so I tried to respond accordingly.

______We ended up in a magazine, too, so that's snazzy.



______I'm not going to explain anything but I will neither confirm nor deny the reference to eggs in this piece. You take that as what you want. My apologies in advance for the short post (you will be compensated with a fortune cookie with an ambiguous fortune this week, but only if you purchase the fortune cookie yourself), but I've gotta run around in a crazy-looking kimono I constructed that's connected to another kimono by a rope that measures somewhere around two-hundred and sixty feet. In public. And hopefully not trip people with my rope.

______Godspeed, my stylish comrades.

Fairytale Narratives

When Fact and Fable Collide

48"x48" oil on masonite panel, Fall 2014

______Grocery shopping and driving have so many connections they probably met on eHarmony and dated a few times. When you're shopping for your canned foods, baked goods, and raw fruits and veggies, you want to push your cart at a constant speed, yield at intersections, and drive on the proper side of the isle, which could essentially be considered two-lanes sized for two carts to pass side by side, sans yellow stripe. You also don't want to shop under the influence, or the grocery shop cops will swoop down from the tops of shelves, place little yellow wheel clamps on your cart, and force you to use a shopping basket for the rest of your food-buying excursion.

______That being said, don't even try to free the lobsters from their glass prison as you saunter by the ground meat. The grocery store cops will scoff and not be amused. Though the beady eyes of the lobsters glint preciously and plead, "SOS!" it's best to turn away and recall how their brains are but a bundle of nerves comparable to those of a cockroach.

Whisking Sugar Lumps 

48"x24" oil on masonite panel, Fall 2014

______Of course, while grocery shopping, you're always going to run into those grocery shop drivers. You know the ones. 

______The ones that take up a whole isle, probably rationalizing that it's an opportune time to tweet about how the Honey Bunches of Oats were moved two cereal brands over, and the struggle was so incredibly real, gosh dangit! And now the world has to know, or at least their twelve followers do, even though nine of them are spam accounts and one is a goat pun account that last updated two years ago.

______Then there are the ones who put their cart in front of the bagged spinach leaves you so desire, only to wander all the way over to another vegetable, leaving their cart, purse, and screaming child for you to frown at until their slow, soul crushing return. 

______Then there's the old couple that slowly surveys each piece of lettuce as if they are picking out a wedding gown. "Oh no," the boisterous little wife says, shaking her head and raising her frail hands in defense, shaking them like wheat crops being struck by Western wind. "These leaves are far too wilted. We need something sturdier, but not too crisp and white as those, nay!" The quiet husband nods in agreement. He knows by now not to argue with his marshmallow haired wife whose skin sags like the floppy lips of a dog. 

The Organisms Are Introduced to Cotton Candy

48"x24" oils on masonite panel, Fall 2014

______The robo-zoomer is what I could classify myself as: my movements are intentional and swift as I dexterously zoom from foodstuff A to foodstuff B, like a pirate sniffing gold on the seas. I have a robot-like stare that resembles that calculates the quickest path to my next target, considering the obstacles that are humans and cart road-blocks. I go in. I go out. I occasionally stop to sniff the packaged roses that sit conveniently by the chocolate-covered almonds.

______There's the gazer. They glaze their slitted eyes over the selection hundreds of times like a lecherous man surveying patrons at a gas station even though he or she shops there every week and that same product hasn't moved an inch. It's in the same spot. Really. Your canned mushrooms haven't grown wings and flown to another isle.

______The post-workout chick. She's got her ponytail streaming through a cap, her snazzy printed leggings hugging her perfect gluteus maximus, and her neon Nikes keeping up with her quick pace as she moves the cart with one hand, cradles a small child in the other, and still manages to pin her Otterbox-cased iPhone 6 to her ear and carry a conversation. This girl is going places.

______What kind of shoppers do you notice?

Interior Me

Interior Me

satin fabric, mulsin, panty hose, saran wrap, piping, paracord, ribbon

Drawing Concepts, December 2014

______I keep forgetting that I, Ali the ultra dweeb, am a blogger and must formulate a post every week. It slips my mind like a child slips on a slip n' slide, or rather an adult slips on a slip n' slide, because we all know those are hella fun and not just for tiny humans. Bad metaphors aside, this here was my final drawing project for the semester; it's definitely the most fulfilling thing I've produced conceptually and physically. It's a fabric-based installation piece made of multiple, modular units and various textiles and materials, plus some panty hoes and saran wrap. There was much cutting, gluing, pressing, and tying of fabrics, and I've discovered that I work better in tiny parts like this opposed to one giant overall piece. I mean, it is fairly large (see human for size reference below), but I was able to work in sections that broke down into even smaller sections so the creation of it was more digestible.

______There are 12 separate pieces to this (those flaps falling to the ground count for five) that separate. Having things in pieces that fold up easily makes it much more portable, too! Like a sandwich, or a dead bird you can shove into your pocket when you find it on the side of the road whilst biking.

______Am I the only one who does that?




______The imagery is based on the body, and though I could get more specific on what its about, I'm more interested in hearing what you guys see or think about it. I'm pretty pumped about this new direction I'm going in, and my professor said the same and that he would readily do what he could to help me get into an excellent grad school program in the future. So that's exciting! I should probably learn how to sew better though. I think that would help to work with fabric and all.

______I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and snacked on a many delicious thing. Eat, drink, and make yourselves sick on chocolate-covered everythings, my delightful little friends!

The Rise and Fall of Ionicus

______Many years ago, before the time of dinosaurs and instant oatmeal and the familiar word "hashtag," a being named Ionicus roamed this vast land. Ionicus was a strange crustacean-like creature that scuttled over and through the lava of ancient volcanos. It was blessed with hearty appendages that shot from its rocky body that was curled like two lovers entwined, two burritos gently eloping, two bendy straws bent to the max. Ionicus was seemingly indestructable, for nobody dared enter the lava realm in which it dwelled. The lava glowed a fierce red like the demonic eyes of a rogue chili pepper, and was hot as hot sauce at a strip club full of bearded men wearing kilts.

______Whew. Anyway, Ionicus could handle that heat. Ionicus had it going on.

______One day, the Overseer decreed that all the creatures within the land must meet yearly to discuss the annual budget, tax laws, and most importantly, the quality of styrofoam cups. Deperately wanting to discuss the matter of styrofoam cups (since they melted oh so quickly in the lava springs, and something more durable like stone or a metal encased in rubber would be more conducive to meal-time), all but two of the Ioinici left the mighty volcano to attend this meeting. Those two Ionici were fast asleep and dreaming heavily, and one knew better than to disturb a sleeping Ionicus.

______The Overseer seemed to be a pretty chill guy, becususe he wore slick leather pants and guy liner, and so the brave leader of the Ionici approached him with no fear that his cup-related request would be rejected. 

______"My dear Overseer," King Ionicus declared after clearing his throat, "It would greatly assist our future endeavors if thine outstanding creator could provide us with different cups, opposed to the styrofoam ones we currently utilize." The Overseer rotated his head, which was fairly difficult since the Overseer was actually a banana tree, and ruffled his banana leaves in response. King Ionius immediately bowed his allegiance. 

______"Are your styrofoam cups not appreciated by the Ionicus Clan?" The Overseer questioned in a voice that could frighten small children, or cause plants to stop growing and shrivel into the ground. 

______"O great and mighty Overseer, I am merely suggesting a change. It is not that--"

______"Silence," the guy liner-wearing banana tree bellowed. "I see what we have here. We have a little bitch here. Is that what we have here? A little bitch?"

______The Overseer waited impatiently. A banana fell from his tree. King Ionicus regarded the curved yellow object nervously, knowing that the only weakness to the Ionici was indeed such a fruit. It was a silly looking fruit, though, and perhaps he should not fear it, King Ionicus thought. Tempted as he was to make a dick joke, he kept his professional demeanor. 

______"I would like to propse-" the King began, but he was quickly cut off.

______"Silence, little B." The Overseer's voice was more shrill than Prince's when he made that sound when doves cry. "I have heard enough of this. What do you think this is? A democracy? Wrong. I am a banana tree, and the only one left in this land, which makes me like five hundred times cooler than you. That's like, ice cold, and means I rule you and stuff. Goodbye, Ionicus clan."

______The Overseer began to sing "Hips Don't Lie" as he shook his leafy body. With his booty poppin' game strong and his vocal game even stronger, all the bananas from his branches loosened and fell atop the Ionicus clan just the way a dump truck would dump rubbish. The Ionici screeched as the bananas made contact with their rocky bodies and disintegrated before the demented Overseer like those crumbly Nature Valley bars.  The area suddenly went quieter than a Calculus II classroom during a final exam, and the other creatures of the land quavered and immediately bowed to the Overseer, unquestionably submitting to his most mighty banana fruit power. 

______Meanwhile, back at the volcano, the two remaining Ionicus finally woke from their deep slumber. Many days passed, and they soon realized they were the only two left of their kind. Their culture lacked proper sex education, and too young to understand the art of reproduction on their own, the two stayed wonderful friends until their bearded, wisdom-filled rocking chair days. Eventually, the two Ioinici passed away, perfectly preserved as delicate little fossils in the volcano in which their clan once thrived.

______And thus is the tragic tale of the Ionicus Clan.