Cotton Candy Mermaid

______Yesterday I turned the ripe, senile age of 22. Which means that besides beginning to grow fond of those who share inspirational quotes plastered over idyllic landscapes on my Facebook feed, I have decided to dress as mature as possible, donning myself in clothing fit for a cotton candy mermaid...

______My day was fairly eventful. Other than buying four pairs of shoes from dee interwebs (my god, Ali, you materialistic piece of poo poo pie), baking myself a cookie cake and eating far too much of it in the process, I went on an extra long bike ride, even managing to cross paths with the eccentric cyclist you may remember me writing about months ago, the one called Northern Lights. When I run into him, I always tell myself I'll turn around and get back at him for all the times he's shouted incoherent ramblings at me, but I've never quite managed to put that plan into action when we actually do cross paths.



______When he approaches, I can't help but grin because the whole ordeal is just so stupid. His entrance is always the same and always comical: he spots me from afar, jerks his head around to check for oncoming vehicles, and immediately veers to the yellow centerline like the hungriest of sharks as he hunches protectively over his road bike. I always know it's him because the instant we become aware of each other his demeanor changes as if he is a piglet who has suddenly discovered a mud puddle.

______I like this guy. I am entertained by his presence. I feel we've developed a sort of kinship, like two frat bros who both have red trucks and nod coolly as they pass on campus. We don't know each other's names, but I feel like we'd have a thing or two to discuss if we met in the grocery store.

______But back to the story.

______This time, Northern Lights puffed his chest out and pulled his shoulders back, hands balled into fists on his hips as he rode toward me. He screamed something which, as per usual, I could not quite comprehend, and in response I shouted, "BIKE HIGH FIVE!" because it's a game by now, you know, and we did try our very best to high five one another but failed by a shameful amount of yards. It's strange how distance can be so distorted when you're biking opposed to driving or walking on a road.

______Immediately after the unsuccessful bro-five, blinking lights man shouted, "Wake up earlier!"



______Wake up earlier? Was he implying that I should wake up earlier to join him in his biking shenanigans? Usually he's riding the opposite way, so if I timed it right, we could ride the same way... And with that, possibly gain entrance into the unofficial blinking lights biker cult. Yep, I think that's exactly what he meant. And I think it's a challenge. A challenge I will accept with utmost fervor, ferocity, and... f... f... ferocity again.

______Yeah. So ferocious.

______Hope you all are having a great start to your July. And I just want to say that I'm gleeful as ever to be back in blogland communicating with you all. Your meaningfully written, novel-worthy comments mean the world to me!



Top: Lotus Boutique (similar)
Skirt: c/o ForElyse (exact)
Heels: Jeffrey Campbell
Bra: Victoria's Secret (exact)
All jewelry from Charming Charlie (yes, it's ridiculous)

Hypothetical Night Club

______Holy burnt chicken nuggets in a ceramic dish, this is my last set of outfit photos that I've got leftover from pre-college shenanigans. If you all saw me now, you'd see that I am a whole 0.003% more tan. That much. Absolutely inane, I know. Also when I say pre-college shenanigans, I actually mean kicking my own butt with all the art things I'm involved in. So I hope you guys don't mind a slight change in seeing more art opposed to outfits for a month or so, or at least until I get back into the ZONE, wherever and whatever that is.

______THE ZONE sounds like an extremely unsuccessful nightclub that would be located on some obscure, tiny planet in outer space, one like Pluto. Every three minutes in this night club, a deep, resonant voice would echo atop the sick dance tunes, "THE ZONE," like those car commercials that desperately want to remind you what their sale is all about, even though their sale is actually raising prices and ripping you off, man. Maybe all the employees wear traffic cones on their heads when they're serving drinks and pole dance wearing nothing but fringed speedos and reflective vests. We will have gender equality at this night club, and our diversified range of employees will only be scantily clad if they choose to be, otherwise they can wear a toga made of braided toast, or a hotdog costume, or whatever they freaking want gosh dangit. Why?

______Because we here at THE ZONE don't take anyone's crap. But the restrooms do, and gleefully so with their shimmering metallic floors and hourly-sanitized, hands-free bathroom technology. Quick wink. You're in safe hands at THE ZONE. Dare we call ourselves a Safe Zone? We dare freakin' do.

______There will be tiny whole-grain sandwiches with the crusts cut off served through all hours of the night, ice cubes in the shape of cars drifting in crystalline bowls of Kool-Aid, and warm cheese dip and chips galore at every corner of THE ZONE's hexagonal-shaped dance room. Sleek. Contemporary. Obnoxiously geometric, with splashes of construction orange and strategically placed reflective surfaces that disorient wall from floor.

______I can only hope that you will all visit before it's shut down three days after opening, but until that day does come, I wish you all the best of your upcoming week!



Vest: c/o For Elyse (exact)
Dress: Urban Outfitters (similar)
Oxfords: c/o Duoboots (exact)
Cicada earrings: Etsy
Necklace: Charming Charlie
Socks: Happy Socks (similar)

Minty Fresh + For Elyse

______Hi friends!

______I know, I know. It's been a while and I can explain, but not before I present this darling mint maxi skirt from For Elyse that I've been scheming to build a plethora of outfits around. It can sit high or low (and wobble to the flo') or be folded up top to create the perfect length. It's also a stretchy wonder, which is fantastic 'cause then you're able to consume more than three grapes at dinnertime and still feel cozy in your attire without having that mental need to flex them abdominals inward whenever you get up to scuttle around.

______Yes, scuttle. We are all tiny crabs on beaches now.




______After seeing these pictures, I noted how dang prominent my butt is in comparison to the rest of my body. You think you look perfectly proportional in a mirror and then BOOM, after uploading pictures from camera to Picasa, you're faced with these full-body photos that relentlessly bop you on the head with their blatant truths. Pretty sure my butt could organically separate from my body and become its own radio personality. Pretty sure my butt was the real reason the Holy Roman Empire fell. Pretty sure my butt has its own center of gravity and soon will be orbiting small objects, like restaurant silverware and tubes of lost Chapstick. Pretty sure I saw the reflections of some grey-haired fellas in trucks doing double takes at the booty while mom and I took these pictures.

______Whatever goes.



______I haven't posted in a whole week and a half, aka nearly a gosh darn fortnight, and for that I apologize from the bottom of my (obviously tar black) heart. My parents, brother, and I moved a shark-ton of furniture and decorative things into my apartment over the weekend and it was a flabbergastingly busy time for all involved. My dad even drove home a creep-style van from work to carry everything to the apartment; we all sat cheerfully behind its wide front window with the windows rolled down and savored curious glances from onlookers. Truly a memorable experience.



Leopard top: Charlotte Russe (similar)
Mint maxi skirt: c/o For Elyse (exact here)
Earrings: c/o Rosewholesale
Various bracelets: probably Charming Charlie
Snake ring: Lulu*s (similar)
Hair: styled by momma

A Good Investment + For Elyse

______Hi there, blog friends! Today I'm introducing you spicy little peppers to an absolutely darling online boutique called For Elyse. All their clothing is hand-picked, inspired by nature, and hands down precious!

______They sent me over this breezy tiered top and sturdy denim vest, both which are top-notch in terms of quality and style. I can see myself wearing both of them throughout the four seasons, rain or shine, day or night, guacamole or bean dip. I'm especially adoring this denim vest and haven't really taken it off since I first tried it on. It goes with everything. I bet my hairy, bearded dog would even look snazzy in it. But we won't test that theory.




______Both of these were delivered in a super speedy two days; in addition, the pleasant folks behind For Elyse were quick to respond to e-mails and questions. I recommend them with my heart, soul, and even my holographic Pokemon card collection. Yeah, my Pokemon card collection. I went there.

______I hope you guys are having a dazzling Thursday, and may the rest of your week be as scintillating as a holographic Pokemon card in midday sunlight.



Top: c/o For Elyse (find it here!)
Denim vest: c/o For Elyse (find it here!)
Skirt: Know Style
Booties: Chelsea Crew
Necklace: JC Penny
Earrings: Charming Charlie (similar)