Monday, May 30, 2016
______BornPretty sent me over some summery accessories: these retro butterfly-shaped sunglasses, a tiny silver infinity ring, and an open bracelet tipped with prismatic crystal cubes that shimmer like the sun-kissed wings of a dragonfly. Dramatic description, I know. I try to go all out with these things.
______I'm pretty sure my dog could sit on these sunglasses and they wouldn't break; they're so sturdy it's like they're made from the bulging forearms of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Same goes for this bracelet; I'm pretty sure I could chuck it at Arnold Schwarzenegger and it could even knock that rock of a man out. I love me some sturdy jewelry that doubles as weaponry.
______I digress. As usual, you can get 10% off your order at BornPretty with the code ALT10.
______I am aware that I was wearing a black jacket in the swarming 90-degree heat. I did it for the fashion and immediately had to chuck it in the washing machine afterward.
______For the next week, I'll be in North Carolina for a fabric-dyeing workshop, and a day after I return home, daddy-o and I will be driving up to North Dakota and Montana to see our relatives. So much driving. So many gas station snack stops. That being said, if you don't see anything for me until late June, it's not because I went off in pursuit of David Bowie in outer space or fell ill from eating the consumption of too many Rolos and Tootsie Pops; though those are things I would likely do, it will simply be because of The Traveling (all caps necessary).
______I hope you all have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious next two weeks. I was so close to spelling that right. I interchanged an "a" for what should have been an "i."
______Keep your spelling sharp, folks.
Jacket: Forever 21
Top: TJ Maxx
Skirt: Urban Outfitters (exact)
Bracelet: c/o BornPretty
Sunglasses: c/o BornPretty
Infinity ring: c/o BornPretty
Monday, May 23, 2016
______One day, I decided I wanted to get rid of aaaaaaaaaall my undergrad paintings which were stored in my parents' basement.
______This decision was made after Spring cleaning my room for the second time and deciding something somewhere didn't feel clean enough, that I had to get rid of more things, that there were still cobwebs that needed to be cleared. This decision was also made because I felt I needed a new start with my art (*snaps for unintentional rhymes) as I near the start of... dun-dun-dun... grad school; thus, I put them all up on Facebook for sale. I kind of laughed in my head; I wasn't expecting anyone to really bite at them because to me most of them were fairly old, needed some help here or there, or seemed like paintings where I learned something rather than came to a conclusion of sorts.
______But we are our own worst critic, and they all sold. I spent the next week delivering them with help from my dad's Yukon and many blankets so the paintings would be snug as a bug in a rug on their way to their new homes.
______In my humble bumblebee option, it's more beneficial to have you paintings hanging in someone's home rather than collecting dust, long-legged spiders, and unfriendly ghost spirits in a basement. I've got a photo archive of all my work, so what more do I need with the physical object taking up space? Plus there's that whole thing about money. I have yet to truly become attached to anything I've made.
______After selling everything on Facebook, I received a solid amount of painting commissions, so now I'm looking at getting about four more done before the end of the summer. Here are two (thankfully the largest I'll have to be painting) that I've gotten out of the way this past month.
______Have a fabulous start to your week, my fair feathered friends.
Sensory Tables, 2016
oil on panel, 4'x4'
oil on panel, 3'x3'
Monday, May 16, 2016
______Humidity and heat are beginning to permeate the Alabama air: in just a matter of weeks, the flowers will start to brown and curl at the edges like burnt toast, sprinklers will hiss and spit at lawns to keep them at their greenest, and even shady areas will be uncomfortably warm to leisure beneath midday.
______Wasps are becoming more and more plentiful and darting around diabolically like the vile winged beasts they are. They are plotting in their tiny cheese-like combs of homes, readying their armies to infiltrate earth with another early attack of buzzing, stinging, dive-bombing, and other similar unpleasantries.
______My dog is already wagging his tail slower whenever I mention the word "walk?" because he knows it means setting paw upon the hellish landscape that is the searing concrete streets of our neighborhood. And unless the path we walk is shady and cool, he basically stands by and says, Nah, I'm good, bruh. He also knows the warmer weather means wasps, and though many dogs avoid these flying red villains, my dog does not; rather than shying away from those nasty buggers, he approaches them with an air of nonchalance, then either pounds his paws on them, sticks his nose at them, or straight-up eats them whole.
______Bless his soul. May he one day learn.
______Not gonna lie, most of the time during summer, I'm dressed in a loose top that lets my armpits breathe the sweet air of freedom, some blinding neon shorts that scream "traffic cone," and keep my hair up in a ponytail. Kind of sort of exactly like those workout moms who shop at the grocery store after their morning yoga classes. You know the ones: they've got sunglasses on their heads, a matching Lululemon set, a baby cradled in one hand, and a cart being pushed by the other.
______So today instead of being a yoga workout mom, I tried to up the casual with minute, shiny details so maybe I can be a little more exciting, kind of like a pineapple covered in glitter. I am a strong believer in that dressing up makes you feel better no matter what. Heck, I bet wasps wouldn't be such jerkwads if they just put on some glittery headbands once in a while.
Top: TJ Maxx
Skirt: Urban Outfitters (exact)
Earrings, quartz bracelet: local artisan
Rings: c/o BornPretty
Sunday, May 8, 2016
______BornPretty sent over some lovely gems again, these foraged from the seas and probably crafted with immaculate dexterity by seahorses and tiny octopuses. I've been choosing items that pair well together, and in lieu of summer's promise of warm weather and lazy days, settled on a few beachy accessories: this clustered seashell statement necklace, a dainty starfish ring, and a simple gold ring. This necklace is such a charming little piece with its sea shells, pearls, and gold stars adorned with pearls, and it clinks like chimes in the wind as I move.
______As usual, you can get 10% off your purchase at BornPretty with the code ALT10 at checkout.
______I'm ready to poise myself as a mermaid, one who is adorned with lustrous pearls and glittering golds which dropped from ships' reserves deep into the ocean. One who will sing her siren song and lure men from their boats so that she can eat their faces off and loot the treasures from their pirating pockets. Because that's what a real mermaid would probably do.
______Okay, maybe that's more like a vicious siren, but I like to think mermaids and sirens were hairs plucked from the same mustache. Of all the mermaids in the world, surely there are a handful who have a diabolical side; ones who don't mess around with the craft of seaweed basket weaving, exchanging handmade Best Friends Forever bracelets with the local dolphins, or admiring themselves in shards of mirrors that drifted from above into the crevices of their homes.
______Nay, these dark mermaids have the urge to hypnotize land dwellers and therefor align themselves with the baddest creatures of the ocean: scheming sharks, twisting electric eels, Ursula, Furbies that still manage to sputter "I Love You" even though they're fifteen years old, and last but not least, The Godforsaken Blob Fish.
______I'm keeping this post short because I want to hop off in order to bake some cookies. There's a strange urge I get about once or twice a month to bake cookies, and perhaps that is a siren song in itself... eat me, the cookie dough sings tantalizingly. Eat me and so I can go to your thighs.
Dress: New York & Company (similar)
Sandals: ASOS (similar)
Pearl and starfish necklace: c/o BornPretty
Starfish ring: c/o BornPretty
Simple ring: c/o BornPretty
Earrings: Charming Charlie
Sunday, May 1, 2016
______Five long years.
______That is how long it's been since my last "real," in-salon haircut. But that all changed this past week.
______The room I entered with my mother was spacious and tidy with pale planks of laminate flooring coursing mindfully from wall to wall. There were typical decor items dotting the entrance of the hair salon that could be purchased through local home stores: a jade buddha head, a lattice screen panel, wrought-iron wall pieces, the souls of the damned... everyday stuff that made a place feel a little more comfortable. Orchestrated Michael Bublé music (sans those deep, delicious Bublé-tastic vocals) strummed through the air.
______To the right was a waiting room filled with chairs and stacks of old magazines that described the absolutely enthralling journey of how a female celebrity gained five pounds over winter, and how it was just so insane and noteworthy enough to be the cover story. To the left were black pleather swivel chairs that faced mirrors so that one could watch as their preciously-grown hair was snipped away.
______Amazing how one's dutiful hair growth can be lost within seconds. It's like when you take weeks, nay, months, to get rid of four stubborn pounds, and then eat it all back in one sitting with a deadly but delicious brownie sundae extraordinaire.
______Before I knew it, I was seated one of the swivel chairs to the left. The tiny woman who was previously at the front desk was suddenly behind me and pump-pump-pumping the seat up so she could reach the squirreliest tips of my scraggly blonde hair. It splayed along my back like Medusa's reptilian hair, only hers was likely more tame.
______It had a mind of its own, this hair, frequenting local gas stations to purchase chilly cherry slushies, causing petty drama in local pet stores like scribbling "YOU GOT PUNK'D" on turtles' shells in white chalk, and tripping small children. These long and gangly ends of my hair were misbehaving like a teenage punk or a very naughty garden gnome. These ends of my hair had to go.
______The woman said some things to me about how she'd fancy working with my hair, and I never really managed to get a word out on how I wanted my hair; she intuitively begin spritzing my hair with water, combing it, and snipping away as if I was a shrubbery in her yard that she knew the core of so very well.
______Rather unlike me, something about her allowed me to trust her with as she did her thang... Likely because she told me I looked like Cinderella. I could totally deal with being a Cinderella shrubbery.
______Chunks of my hair dropped to the planked floors soundlessly like rose petals on still water, or the severed heads of one's enemies during a heavy snowfall. The woman expertly wove her comb through my hair, smoothing out pieces and trimming the ends, measuring deftly as she went. She was a tiger in her natural habitat, hunting for the best 'do. The comb slid through my hair easier and easier with time's passing and was soon able to go through all of my hair: please note this is a thing that has never been done for many years.
______She was complete.
______I had survived.
______I barely even cried.
______Eye of the tiger.
Dress: Lulus (similar)
Heels: ASOS (exact)
Tassel necklace: Charming Charlie
Earrings: local artisan
Bracelets: local artisan
Infinity bracelet: c/o BornPretty