Sunday, May 1, 2016
______Five long years.
______That is how long it's been since my last "real," in-salon haircut. But that all changed this past week.
______The room I entered with my mother was spacious and tidy with pale planks of laminate flooring coursing mindfully from wall to wall. There were typical decor items dotting the entrance of the hair salon that could be purchased through local home stores: a jade buddha head, a lattice screen panel, wrought-iron wall pieces, the souls of the damned... everyday stuff that made a place feel a little more comfortable. Orchestrated Michael Bublé music (sans those deep, delicious Bublé-tastic vocals) strummed through the air.
______To the right was a waiting room filled with chairs and stacks of old magazines that described the absolutely enthralling journey of how a female celebrity gained five pounds over winter, and how it was just so insane and noteworthy enough to be the cover story. To the left were black pleather swivel chairs that faced mirrors so that one could watch as their preciously-grown hair was snipped away.
______Amazing how one's dutiful hair growth can be lost within seconds. It's like when you take weeks, nay, months, to get rid of four stubborn pounds, and then eat it all back in one sitting with a deadly but delicious brownie sundae extraordinaire.
______Before I knew it, I was seated one of the swivel chairs to the left. The tiny woman who was previously at the front desk was suddenly behind me and pump-pump-pumping the seat up so she could reach the squirreliest tips of my scraggly blonde hair. It splayed along my back like Medusa's reptilian hair, only hers was likely more tame.
______It had a mind of its own, this hair, frequenting local gas stations to purchase chilly cherry slushies, causing petty drama in local pet stores like scribbling "YOU GOT PUNK'D" on turtles' shells in white chalk, and tripping small children. These long and gangly ends of my hair were misbehaving like a teenage punk or a very naughty garden gnome. These ends of my hair had to go.
______The woman said some things to me about how she'd fancy working with my hair, and I never really managed to get a word out on how I wanted my hair; she intuitively begin spritzing my hair with water, combing it, and snipping away as if I was a shrubbery in her yard that she knew the core of so very well.
______Rather unlike me, something about her allowed me to trust her with as she did her thang... Likely because she told me I looked like Cinderella. I could totally deal with being a Cinderella shrubbery.
______Chunks of my hair dropped to the planked floors soundlessly like rose petals on still water, or the severed heads of one's enemies during a heavy snowfall. The woman expertly wove her comb through my hair, smoothing out pieces and trimming the ends, measuring deftly as she went. She was a tiger in her natural habitat, hunting for the best 'do. The comb slid through my hair easier and easier with time's passing and was soon able to go through all of my hair: please note this is a thing that has never been done for many years.
______She was complete.
______I had survived.
______I barely even cried.
______Eye of the tiger.
Dress: Lulus (similar)
Heels: ASOS (exact)
Tassel necklace: Charming Charlie
Earrings: local artisan
Bracelets: local artisan
Infinity bracelet: c/o BornPretty
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
_____As I am writing this, I'm sitting in a plastic red lawn chair, listening to the backyard sprinklers, bird chirps, and the whistling of the wind through freshly-grown spring leaves. I can feel the mist from the sprinklers spit on me like the haters they are, and the sun warm my skin as if I am a frozen pastry shrugging off its iced state. The smell of the sprinklers reminds me of younger days when my older brother and I used to zoom down the Slip N' Slide in my parents' green backyard, eat copious amounts of those long, vibrant popsicles, and fill a kiddy pool to the brim with water balloons for some innocuous balloon combat with the other kidlets our cul-de-sac.
_____Ah, yes. Water balloon combat. Those were simpler days where winning and losing never mattered because the ice cream man conveniently stopped the battle with his shrillish siren song for a peaceful dessert break.
_____I suppose I'm feeling ultra nostalgic lately since I know I'll be moving states since I've finally decided where I'll be attending graduate school: The University of Iowa. It's a solid thirteen hours from the generally warm land of Alabama, and the weather between the two are as similar as a pillow and a chunk of mortar, or a slab of butter and a goose egg, or sugar-free chocolate and regular tasty chocolate. Nonetheless, I'm excited for what this new friggin' chilly place will bring!
_____I was lucky enough to earn three years of free tuition, three years as a paid teaching assistant, and a scholarship on top of that. Deciding between schools was tough, especially since the other two I was looking at were much closer to home and offered very similar funding, but something about Iowa screamed, "You know you want to freeze your butt off in the winter. YOU KNOW YOU DO."
_____It can get as cold as -20 degrees up there... ehhehhehhhhh.
_____I digress. I'll enjoy one final summer of enjoying months of warm weather, short skirts, and sandals while I can. At least I'll be able to wear poofballs in my hair year round. Seriously, best purchase ever.
_____#pooflife #poofsarefloofy #motherpoofinpoofball
_____(Mysterious underground fairy tunnel or rodent home? Only you can decide.)
Top: Charlotte Russe (similar)
Skirt: c/o ForElyse
Heels: ASOS (exact)
Earrings: Charming Charlie
Choker: ASOS (shop similar)
Drop necklace: Charming Charlie
Poofball hair accessory: Amazon
Monday, April 11, 2016
______One of the worst feelings in the world is when you wake up in the middle of the night after an feverish, sweat-inducing dream of being hunted down by demon skeleton beasts and realize how 1) man, that was freaky and 2) man, you've gotta toodle-loo to the loo, but if you get up from your fortress of blankets and pillows, you'll probably be devoured by a monster.
______We're talking ginormous monster with claws curved like fishhooks, and fur that's teeming with roaches and larvae. Eyes glowing hot red. A scaly tail tipped with a spiked ball. Ramen noodles for hair, which might sound pretty decent and tasty, but get this: ramen noodles WITHOUT THE FLAVOR PACKET.
______*cue scary organ pipe music*
______Totally terrifying and realistic monster here.
______In a rational world where the light splashes in to every crevice in the world around you, revealing all the evils that could be but are not, monsters are the last thing on your mind. But as you know, when the moon is resting at the pinnacle of the sky in a sea of speckled silk, rational thinking is the last thing that's first on your mind, no matter how logical you are.
______And you know it's silly to think that death awaits you the second your foot slips from beneath the comforter to meet the crisp air beyond the safety of cozyblanketland. Even when your room is quiet except for the low drone of your fan and the occasional familiar squeak from the AC turning on and off. The streetlamp from outside is painting stripes of light on your ceiling at an angle you've discerned means it's around three in the morning. However, since it's dark... there are definitely horrible monsters. All over. Everywhere. Tiny ones that stretch from tight spots until they're in their final form and eat you whole.
______But somehow you are brave, and somehow you garner the courage to go to the bathroom. And that is when you are a hero, a brave solider, one deserving of a medal or at least a late-night snake of cookies and milk... and a whole pound cake... and some gummy worms, and a diet soda for health.
______....At least until you have to jump back on top of your covers so nothing from underneath your bed snatches you with its stretchy monster limbs.
______Discuss: monsters and the middle of the night.
Blazer: Charlotte Russe (similar)
Dress: Charlotte Russe (similar)
Heels: ASOS (exact)
Tassel necklace: Charming Charlie
Earrings: handmade by Ron Midkiff
Ampersand ring: c/o BornPretty
Lips: Revlon Colorburst
Sunday, April 3, 2016
______I'm super excited to talk to you guys about eShakti today: I spoke to them last week and they sent me this gorgeous customize-fit contrast collar dress in the mail the other day, and I am already certain it's become one of my favorite pieces in the history of ever. Upon opening the package, I swooned, fell on the floor, got back up, saw the dress again, and fell down again. I had to take a breath before I got back up again. I think this may be love: I've always wanted a black dress with white collars and white cuffs on the sleeves. I feel like you could dress it up, dress it down, wear it to go grocery shopping, wear it the Hogwarts Yule Ball, wear it to time travel to another dimension...
______I could go on, but I will spare you.
______I was surprised it came so fast especially for being a custom-made piece. It has a little "CUSTOM" tag sewn in on the collar and took under a week from the day it was ordered to arrive at my doorstep. It has plenty of fine pleats, a zip-up back, and a hook at the top to ensure it stays closed.
______Besides the impeccable quality and endless pages of classic styles to scroll through, their support team is hecka friendly and very responsive to any questions or concerns you may have. Not that you'd have any questions or concerns since they're irrevocably splendid. Yeah, I said that. Customer service: five out of five stars, plus one of those puffy star stickers filled with liquid and sparkles that's immensely cooler than a regular gold star. The highest honor. Am I sounding too cheesy yet? Good deal. I always wanted to be a Cheeto.
______This site knows how to fit a girl; if you don't want a standard size for fear that it's too standard and will give you too much boobie room and not enough waist space to eat more than a few peas, take a go at their custom tool! All you need is a few measurements and you're set to go. I set my measurements to about an inch more than they actually were and I got the perfect fit with just enough wiggle room since the material doesn't have much give. I'd say you'd be pretty safe putting your regular measurements in, but my body is finicky and likes to change measurements a few inches on me throughout the day.
______Not only can you enter your own measurements for a perfect fit, but you can change whether or not you want pockets, alter the sleeve types, and play with the dress or skirt length, too! I opted for a mini dress, custom fit, and chose to keep the pockets because who doesn't like pockets? You can put all sorts of things in them: spare change, string cheese snacks, rocks you stumble across which are shaped like celebrities noses, and that lollipop you stole from an infant in the grocery store* you wore this dress to.
______Overall, my experience with eShakti was incredible, and looking at their endless selection, I know I'll have to keep checking up on them! If you're feeling the eShakti love, too, use code thedrawingmannequin at checkout to get 10% off your order.
*Disclaimer: This blog does not support the theft of lollipops from babies. You do the crime, you pay the time, you swine.
Dress: c/o eShakti
Heels: Jeffrey Campbell
Flower ring: c/o BornPretty
Bow Ring: Charming Charlie
Earrings: Charming Charlie
Necklace: probably Charming Charlie
Saturday, April 2, 2016
______Well kids, I survived my septoplasty surgery that took place a week and a half ago (which hopefully explains my missing presence on all of your blogs). I've been taking it easy propped up in bed for the past week, alternating hot and cold liquids down my windpipe, feeling accomplished when I can eat a diced up banana in under half an hour, and getting physically drained and utterly sleepy after eating. I was basically an infant. An infant with sick bruises under her eyes and a penchant for mushy peas.
______Seriously. Food has been a trial and so has keeping my eyes open. You think surgery inside your nose wouldn't affect your chewing, but nope! Your mouth sure does move your nostrils around quite a bite.
______The past ten days have been annoyingly exhausting even though I've been doing little to nothing. I'm finally getting to the point where I can eat slightly less mushy things (aka food that isn't baby food or frozen yogurt) and get up and move around the house. I thought the first couple of days post-op would be paradise streaming Netflix and drawing whilst propped up in bed, but all I wanted to do was sit upright with my eyes closed since I was so tired all the time. There wasn't really any pain--the worst of it was The Sore Throat That Thy Demon Lord Satan Cast Upon Me that wouldn't go away for eight days. But I know being able to breathe through both my nostrils will be so so worth it in the end! I can already feel the effects of it.
______P.S. That is Gunner, and he was my snuggle buddy while I was in bed. Quite a handsome lad, I must say.