Thursday, June 26, 2014

A Good Investment + For Elyse

For ElyseFor Elyse

______Hi there, blog friends! Today I'm introducing you spicy little peppers to an absolutely darling online boutique called For Elyse. All their clothing is hand-picked, inspired by nature, and hands down precious!

______They sent me over this breezy tiered top and sturdy denim vest, both which are top-notch in terms of quality and style. I can see myself wearing both of them throughout the four seasons, rain or shine, day or night, guacamole or bean dip. I'm especially adoring this denim vest and haven't really taken it off since I first tried it on. It goes with everything. I bet my hairy, bearded dog would even look snazzy in it. But we won't test that theory.

For Elyse
For ElyseFor ElyseFor ElyseFor Elyse

______Both of these were delivered in a super speedy two days; in addition, the pleasant folks behind For Elyse were quick to respond to e-mails and questions. I recommend them with my heart, soul, and even my holographic Pokemon card collection. Yeah, my Pokemon card collection. I went there.

______I hope you guys are having a dazzling Thursday, and may the rest of your week be as scintillating as a holographic Pokemon card in midday sunlight.

For Elyse

Top: c/o For Elyse (find it here!)
Denim vest: c/o For Elyse (find it here!)
Skirt: Know Style
Booties: Chelsea Crew
Necklace: JC Penny
Earrings: Charming Charlie (similar)

Friday, June 20, 2014

Sail(or Moon) Away


______Guys, I really have no idea what to talk about. No lightbulbs are flickering in my head right now. I am flickering lightbulb-less.

______I'm definitely doing stuff and things this summer, but those stuff and things are nothing earth-shattering. I've been absorbing delectable books with my mind, soaking them up like Shania Twain does the sun, painting a bit, and biking in the putrid morning air. I've got an awful biker's tan starting: basically, my shoulders and arms have been gaining a meager amount of color, but then from my neck to mid-thigh has remained pale as softened eggshells. Dee-lish-ous. I've gotta acquire a swimsuit and fill that out before I've got ten different tan lines going on and resemble a sepia barcode more than a human.

SailButternut Squash9Sail

______However, I did find some snazzy little bug guys yesterday. These little beetles were perched elegantly on the half-gnawed on leaves behind me. I'll casually note that some of them were fornicating on the undersides of bouncing leaves; how they managed to balance upside down, on top of each other, and all while eagerly performing the fricky-frack act remains a mystery to me. But enough of this naughty bug mating talk. Most of them were just crawlin' about like strong, independent bugs who don't need no mate.

______Or had just recently mated.

______(We just don't know which.)

BeetleIMG_2080BeetleOh dear again

(*coughs totally not voyeuristic at all coughs*)

Top: Forever 21
Skirt: Charlotte Russe
Socks: via Target
Oxford heels: Jeffrey Campbell (similar)
Necklace: ancient-ish
Rose earrings: Charming Charlie (similar)
Chain bracelet: Charming Charlie
Lips: Hourglass (exact)

Friday, June 13, 2014

Pow! You Just Got Punched


_____On Monday, my mother dearest and I went for an afternoon hiking trip at a local woodsy park; some of the trails there lie tangent to century-old mining facilities, and for the anthropology class I'm taking this summer, our teacher gave us the day off to go visit 'em. Momma opted to tag along--heck to the yeah, momma!


_____Shortly after venturing chivalrously into the Kodak-moment-worthy woods, our faces began to gleam like freshly glazed donuts and our bodily temperatures rose due to the sticky Alabama humidity. As we scaled the low grade hills that wouldn't be the least bit challenging to an infant wearing rollerblades, our mighty lady calves bulged and buckled like those of muscled Spartan men. There were a few steep moments in the trails, but it was nothing to mother and I, for we are secretly mountain goats clad in human skins by dark fairy magic.

_____Yes. We are actually a clandestine wizard family. Be not too jealous.


_____We scavenged the area like nut-deprived squirrels for about two hours (lol whut) and we were able to locate two of the decrepit mine shafts. I wish I could say we had ill fate and became woefully lost to add elements of desperation and emotional depth to our journey, but alas, that was never the case. The trails were easily identifiable with words and arrows, like some neat freak went print-crazy with a label maker and a perfectly chopped stack of 2x4s; plus, the paths were perfectly exposed and never meshed too well with the surrounding trees.


Top: Charlotte Russe (exact)
Skirt: Know-Style (similar)
Booties: Chelsea Crew
Necklace: JCPenny
Socks: Target
Large gold cuff: Lulu*s
Earrings: vintage

Saturday, June 7, 2014

The Donuts Are Not As They Seem

The Donuts Are Not As They Seem The Donuts Are Not As They SeemThe Donuts Are Not As They Seem
The Donuts Are Not As They Seem, Lithographic print, March 2014

______More printmaking things! More lithographs! MORE ALCHEMY!

______Witchy terminology aside, here are some more of my pastry-organism pals. The second one is a fairly tiny print, measuring the size of a plush-bunned hamburger or maybe 6x6 inches if you don't want to think about a print in terms of greasy noms.  Even as the semester dwindled to an end, I continued with my initial idea of crafting up an army of these delicate little creatures, even if doing so isn't the most innovative of art things I could have done.

Mother and ChildMother and Child Detail
Mother and Child, Lithographic print, April 2014

______So I'm sure some of you have heard this via other social medias, but if not, get this: there was apparently a creepstah out there who made a Facebook profile using my pictures who was pretending to be me, but under a different name. Even more unnerving, there were captions under the pictures acting as if this person had experienced those very moments that I did. A lady contacted me (who found me through google-searching my stolen images since her younger daughters received a request from impostor-me) since she thought the account was extremely suspicious--which it was indeed! I'm so glad that there are people willing to make the world a better place out there. I know that I would do the same.

______Facebook rejected my requests to have the account removed, saying it wasn't an impersonation, which was a very bolonga-filled decision on their part. So bologna-filled that I am now convinced all some of the people behind the Book of Faces drive Oscar Mayer Weiner-mobiles around. I whipped up a strongly worded message to imposter-me and sent something more eloquently written than, but along the lines of, "Bruh, those are my pictures, and you're being absolutely creepy to impersonate me. My smorsgabord of friends have reported for you, so go ahead and delete before you are inevitably smitten."

______He was totally wigged out and deleted. Totally.

______It's a good thing I've got you guys to help me. Thanks so much again for those of you who did take a minute to report him. Girl power... holla!

Sunday, June 1, 2014

The Sky is Artificial Butter


 ______This is a tale of the Northern Lights.

______Oh, no-no-no. Not those Northern Lights, mind. Not that shimmering light spectacle that dominates the night sky like cosine and sine waves interwoven in some prismatic mating ritual. Surreal and mind-blowing as that is, I'm talking about something completely different. I'm speaking of a befuddling person who I've dubbed "Northern Lights" in my head.

______You all know I'm an avid road biker. I bike each morning when the sun soaks the land with its citrine light, just before the humidity has time to saturate the air like a sweaty herd of wild armpits. On my rides, I often stumble across the same few folks: there's a trio of greying men who sport slick neon shirts and cheerily greet me with, "G'morning, girl!"; a serious young woman who whizzes by with nothing but a curt nod; and a few friendly dudes with excellently rendered butts who usually pass beside me from behind (which is why I know of their top notch man-buns.)


______There is one particular person, one man who I have yet to comprehend when our paths intersect. His approach is signaled from afar by a blinking light on the opposite side of the road. A blinking light that conjures the flickering patterns of the Northern Lights.


______Blink-blink-blink, his light flashed to an invisible tune. Blink-moth-er-frick-in-blink-hell-yah-blink. This light is totally in tune with this dude. This dude is totally in tune with the light. There is a lot of tuning going on.

______The northern lights were flashing and moving closer. The man upon the bike sported dark shades and a spotted helmet that boasted years of road biking experience, and his tires spun confidently along the pavement. As he neared, he immediately turned his head toward me.

______"Good morning!" I instinctively hummed, waving an arm and tipping my helmet down and up in a swift and scientific biker nod. However, this man did not return my kind greeting with a head nod or friendly hand gesture like the other bikers; rather, his only response was to spread his arms to his sides. It looked as if he was preparing to lift from his bike and rise into the hazy blue stratosphere. What, was he some sort of bird man? I was equally parts amused and bewildered.

______He said something incomprehensible to me. Wind sloshed in the tunnels of my ears like thick soup in cans and cars zipped by noisily, and all I knew was that Northern Lights resembled a hawk with his outstretched arms. I could not hear him. As we passed one another, he shook his head dramatically, almost disappointedly. I delivered an incredulous look. What the huh? was all I could think.

______I gave him a snappy, "What?!" and he swerved toward the middle of the road, biking right between the yellow striped centerlines. He stuck out one finger and waved it back and forth in a deliberate "uh-uh-uh!" fashion. The kind that adults do to children when they've done something horrible, like scooping their sticky fingers in the bowl of raw cookie dough batter. Yet again, the man said something that I was unable to hear. I saw a flicker of a mouth that was partially grinning. He was smiling as he said this?

______The man biked back to his side of the road. I guffawed. What the heck, what even, who is this guy and what? was all I thought. There was no reason nor logic to his actions, and yet they seemed consistent. I was absolutely perplexed.

whale whale

______It was another week or so until we met again. Being an early Sunday morning, there was absolutely no traffic. I saw Northern Lights heading in my direction quicker than a famished trout toward a juicy worm. All right, I'll decode him this time, I assured myself.

______"What do you want?" I roared, not being able to help but grin at how ridiculous this entire scenario was. I intently strained my ears for a response.
______"You're going the wrong way!" Northern Lights shouted back to me. He only raised one arm up this time. Perhaps my shouting rendered his birdlike motions weak due to some sort of fear, or so I liked to imagine. Nonetheless, that was the first time I actually understood his words, so I choked on a reply.
______"I am not!" I said hastily, knowing that I was traveling in the proper direction: with traffic, not against it.  That was the way of the bikers, the rules of the road. So why would he point that out? He was just being silly here. I mimicked a frustrated version of his signature eagle arms, mocking him a little.
______"Well," Northern Lights retorted, perhaps sardonically, "You should be going this way!"

______He cycled past me for good and I turned my head as he flitted past, almost curving into the ditch as I did so. It was my first mini-conversation with Northern Lights, and I know there will be more as this summer progresses. Stay tuned and stay cool, folks.


Dress: New York and Co.
Denim jacket: Kohl's (exact)
Heels: Jeffrey Campbell
Necklace: Charming Charlie
Earrings: Charming Charlie