Monday, July 28, 2014

A Good Stretch

Flex, 48"x48", July 2014
oil on masonite

______Woop-di-doop! I'm finally calling this painting finished after working on it for a couple of weeks. I eventually just had to pry myself away from it, because at one point, I almost got stuck to it starfish-style. I'm constantly fearful that I will overwork a painting, but I stopped just in time for this guy. Now nobody let me touch it ever again.

______The "problem" with posting traditional art on the interwebernets is that it becomes visually skewed in terms of size and texture. This painting is fairly big though not huge: four feet by four feet, or what I like to imagine is a perfect square but most likely isn't since I was the one who made the canvas board (wonky creator = wonky square). I googled "things that are four feet tall" to make a neat size comparison of painting to non-painting object, but all I learned was that turkeys can grow to four feet tall, which is absolutely terrifying. So yeah, this guy is the size of a monstrously large turkey.

______Stay safe with a set of skewers and jar of poultry seasoning out there, friends. There be large turkeys roaming the lands, lurking, waiting, anticipating you.


Monday, July 21, 2014

It's Lime Time + RoseWholeSale


______What time is it?

______...LIME TIME!

______If you answered, "Summertime! It's our vacation!" in High School Musical-esque vocals, then, well, I'll give you that, you Troy Bolton wannabes. If you have not an inkling as to what High School Musical is, then it's probably better you don't know.

______Anywho! Rosewholesale sent me over a package of aesthetically pleasing items a few days ago: this frilly tulle skirt, along with emerald earrings and a bracelet to boot. I concocted an outfit on the interwebs because that's convenient and entertaining. Just like last time, I'm very pleased with the quality and fit of these items!


______A lady in the grocery store told me I looked like "a cute little fairy princess" when I was picking out some bananas that could have camouflaged in with my skirt, which is basically the best description anyone has ever had of me. This is one of those magical skirts that makes you look super skinny, is super floaty, and probably has the ability to summon kung-fu-fairy-fighters with a swish of its tulle.

______The parental units, my and brother, his girlfriend, and I all drove up to Nashville this weekend. I haven't been there since I was a very tiny Homo sapien that couldn't remember much, so the experience was new for me. However, it was exciting moseying about the town, getting blasted by occasional thrums of loud musical and cigarette smoke, and popping into an innumerable amount of boot shops. If I ever wanted a pair of cowboy boots, after seeing so many lining shelves and walls like museum artifacts, I sure as heck don't now.

______That being said, I haven't had much time to catch up on commenting, so I'll get to that soon! Hope you all had a fantastic weekend, friends!


Skirt: c/o Rosewholesale (exact)
Bracelet: c/o Rosewholesale (exact)
Earrings: c/o Rosewholesale (exact)
Top: we just don't know
Sandals: Franco Sarto
Hair: styled by momma

Monday, July 14, 2014

Oxford Scholar


______I won these snazzy oxfords the other week from a DuoBoots giveaway; they're an astounding company in the UK specializing in leather shoes that are absolutely gorgeous and I feel compelled to tell everyone about them. Plus, these oxfords smell great. After unwrapping them from their smokey purple box, I spent a whole minute pressing them to my face and inhaling their dusky, rich scent like I could experience hallucinogenic side effects.

______(I didn't.)


______I had another encounter with the mysterious Northern Lights biker, too. He came zipping along, a symphony of blinking lights as was his surefire signal, and I prepared myself for some raucous vocals and blatant arm flapping. As if on cue, he immediately veered to the center of the road at the sight of me and lifted his arms like a poised eagle atop a totem poll.

______This guy. Seriously.

______This time around, instead of letting Northern Lights have the first word, I was going to be the one to break the silent hum of cicadas that infested the area. I lifted my arms into the air, made magic finger motions, and sputtered, "You're going to the wrong waaaaaay!" like the insolent little turd I was.

______He guffawed at my taunt, but did not reply to it. Rather, he shouted back completely unfazed, "You've finally got a light on the front of your bike! I CAN SEE YOU!"

______Northern Lights bellowed a deep laugh and zoomed merrily past me. He carried on with his ride as if he was a very satisfied father who just witnessed his adversary neighbor trim too much off a hedge, thus rendering him cul-de-sac's yard champ of the week. It was true what he said, though. I always have had a light on the back of my bike, but now I had one on the front, too. It blinked just like Northern Lights' did to warn cars that I was present and vulnerable on my bike. Was that what has been bothering him all along? It surely couldn't have been, because long ago he was shouting at me for going the wrong way. Or was he merely furious that he was the one going in the opposite direction this time around?

______The world may never know.


Top: Target
Skirt: Charlotte Russe (similar)
Earrings: SteinMart
Necklace: vintage
Socks: Target (similar)
Ampersand ring: c/o BornPretty
Shoes: c/o DuoBoots

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Fossil Floaters

Fossil Floaters
Fossil Floaters, Lithographic print, April 2014


______Is it already time for me to post on teh BLOGE???/

______I wasn't actually ready to post any outfits, so instead my final lithograph from last semester shall be unveiled. I've been busier than my paternal grandmother would be at a male strip club this past week. I imagine that my grandma would rather enjoy those, simply because of her choice in a 21st birthday card she sent me: "Red Rover, Red Rover, send cute, financially stable men right over!" Scrawled fiercely inside the card was a request: "Send the OLD guys to me!"

______She is a wild one and I am forever driven by her electric personality and frankness. In a world of processed orange cheeses, she is spicy and decadent, like well-aged Parmesan with flakes of pepper scattered throughout.

Fossil FloatersFossil Floaters

______But yeah, busy week. I had to get my laptop fixed, so I was without it for three days, and those three days were probably the most productive of my summer. I started a 4'x4' painting in the basement, transforming half of my dad's man-cave into a temporary studio, took senior pictures for my neighbor, worked on a good chunk of illustration-comics for my job, and finished two books I had been slogging through. Writing things out makes me feel like I've actually been doing things. Hooray, things!

______Oh! Oh! I'm sure most of you have seen my cake, but since Sunday I have officially been a real 21-year old! I keep forgetting it, too. I'm honestly unfazed by alcohol and still haven't had my first drink, but I'm sure I'll give a darn and sip on some fancy fermented grapes one day.

______Pinkie up.

21 Cake

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Still Good in the World


______Hi hi, butterbeans.

______So something awfully tragic happened upon taking these photos. No, I wasn't assassinated. No, nobody tried to cut my braids off and use them as nunchucks to battle a skilled team of rollerblading nuns. No, my name wasn't anonymously dropped into the Goblet of Fire, but yes, Cedric Diggory is actually still dead, so sorry about that bit.

______You see, halfway through the photo-taking process I plopped my zebra clutch on the ground to snap a few pictures without it. You can even see it in a few of these pictures way off to the right. Inevitably, when mother and I were done taking photos, I never picked it back up. It done sat there like a sad little blob with no legs to trail after it's dearest master. And what was stuffed inside this clutch?

______My phooooooone...

______(holds back tears)

______I am a horrible father.


______I went to transfer photos from camera to computer as soon as I got home. A Book of Faces notification popped up like a raunchy dating ad on my screen. However, rather than instinctively x-ing out of it, I glimpsed attentively at its words in my peripheral vision: "farmer's market" and "left your phone" sent a strange signal to my brain. Curious, I clicked it. A friend was telling me that someone had found my phone and left it at the information center until I could come by to reclaim it.

______I was befuddled. I was unsure how my friend garnered such precious information about my apparently lost phone. Was she there and did she see me taking pictures? Was she not in North Carolina now that she'd graduated the college? Did she actually graduate from wizard college, and was a telepathic badass or my secret fairy godmother? Did--ohhhhhhh wait. Someone called her and ohshootIleftmyphonebackthere.


______I immediately bounced up from my exercise ball chair and propelled myself toward my car like a beard-loving woman toward a bearded man. I drove as quickly as I could without exceeding the speed limit, which was a daring 42mph on a 40mph road, "because it's very difficult to maintain your speed all the time, officer."


______Needless to say, as soon as I was reunited with my phone, I cradled it protectively as if it were a newborn or a precious carton of Reese's Pieces that still had two months left until its expiration.

______It's nice to know there are still good eggs in this world who will go great lengths to return lost things or IOUs, whether that be a wallet plump with greenbacks or a buck for that one time you wanted a Snickers bar from the vending machine. There may be bad eggs in the world, but I believe most Homo sapiens have good intentions and know when they need to pay back their dues.

______Tip of the week: keep an eye on your things, friends!

Sneaky bug

Dress: Urban Outfitters (similar)
Necklace, snogging zebra bracelet: Charming Charlie
Zebra clutch: giveaway via Walk the Sun
Red booties: Charlotte Russe (similar)
Lips: Hourglass (exact)
Hair: styled by my lovely momma