Sunday, December 16, 2012
A Spotty Transition
______With most of the things I do nowadays, it's almost like I prefer to be alone opposed to with others. It's funny how I'm not afraid to do things by myself anymore. The thought of picking up my mom's prescription while she waited in the car used to scare the living daylights out of me, but now I will gladly drive myself to a deli for the sole purpose of having lunch with no one but myself and a book for as long as I desire. I can go to Starbucks and order myself a hot tea and study there with the understanding that sometimes it's okay to buy yourself tea, and not everything you do has to be a social outing. It's nice, I suppose, not having to depend on anyone but yourself. Maybe that's why I don't mind doing things alone. When I'm not with another person, I can do what I want for as long as I would like without the fear of intruding upon someone else's time or feeling like they are being oppressive to my own time. It's not lonely--it's freeing.
______But yeah, I guess that doing more things on my own is one of the ways I've been able to push myself out of my comfort zone in the past year or so. Even though I always think that I haven't changed much since entering college, I guess now that I look back at it, I have grown. Maybe not a lot, but a little. We grow up bit by tiny bit, I suppose.
______Of course, that's not to say there's still tons of growing up for me to do, because there definitely is. I still get overemotional about things which some may consider minor worries. I still lack the proper amounts of confidence to do certain things. I still have a mini-heart attack when talking on the phone. Heck, I still sleep with a giant plush whale and lobster (and they are aptly named Mr. Whale and Lobby, thank you very much). I'm still probably in the wee caterpillar stages of my life, but perhaps one day I'll be spinning my own cocoon and emerging as an ever-most darling little butterfly.
______In all honesty, I've always been kind of an introvert, though. I'm one of those people who will gladly be with people, but would rather listen to others speak opposed to participating; that doesn't mean I'm bored or would rather be doing something else, it just means that I'm more than content with simply being there.
______I guess what I'm getting at is that it just took me a while to figure out how to be an introvert by myself. That doesn't make sense. That is the farthest thing from sense. Make sense? Good.
Dress: Ross ($8, ohoho)
Fur-trimmed ankle booties: Jeffrey Campbell, shoe god
Anchor belt: Lotus Botique
Necklace: Charming Charlie