Wednesday, April 3, 2013
The Force Is Strong With This One
______Here's a dress I bought the other day on a whim. I'm not sure how practical it is, but I found it rather reminiscent of Star Wars (no specific part, really--just the whole Star Wars), and so I felt like that alone justified my purchase.
______Is it obvious that I'm not wearing a bra? Because I'm not. We of the barely-convex-boob tribe have this spectacular ability where we don't necessarily have to wear bras all the time. It's kind of freeing, 'cause then you can wear open back dresses without having to worry about your bra showing; of course, there are also things you must take note of with this ability--the most important being that you mustn't get cold at any time ever. Ever.
______And so of course, the inevitable happened. The day was swimming along just swimmingly, and all was well in the land of Alabama; I was at Panera bread, consuming my delicious salad alongside the woman who birthed me, when I decided to get up and go to the restroom. As I opened the door, I caught my reflection in the mirror, and my eyes scaled down a bit, and I noticed the unmentionable.
______What was this blasphemy? I wasn't cold! I was an optimal temperature. And right at that moment, I reevaluated all of the slight glances which people had given me as I made my way into the restroom. Were people glancing at me because they thought I was a super stylish diva queen who resembled a Jedi? Or were people glancing at me because they noticed that I had two appropriately placed peas in my dress?
______Maybe both. Maybe neither. Maybe they all thought I was on the brink of whipping out a lightsaber and slicing their heads off in one swift stroke, and they were just giving me looks of apprehension. We may never know.
______Really, it didn't bother me that much. I'm just telling a dramatic tale, as you guys know I like to do. I never really understood why people get all shy and weirded out about body parts... I mean, we all have them. We all arms, and we all have shoulders, just as we all have nipples. We are essentially a big constellation of people in this world, and our nipples are the stars, and that is how we are all connected. We're a galaxy of nipples, you guys. That's it. That's all we are.
______Now that I've most likely made you all fairly uncomfortable, I wish you a wonderful day and night, and hope that you have a most extravagant time viewing the twinkling stars outside your window.
Heels: Chelsea Crew
Earrings: good question
Bracelets: that would be another good question