She Ate My Heart

______Story time!

______So last week, I purchased my very first fancy-schmancy tube of red lipstick.  I entered Sephora with the undertaking to find it, but after walking through the large glass doors, my determined face quickly diminished into one forged from concentrating eyes and a horribly scrunched up nose.  Two steps in the store and I was already at a loss at where to begin.  The hot white lights and gleaming white floor were blinding to my search, and I sunk forward like a willow tree after a heavy rainfall, my eyes wide beneath my hair.

______I was lost.  So terribly, terribly lost.

______A lady must have noticed me standing there because she dashed up to me rather enthusiastically, her heels clicking as she neared.  She skidded to a halt before me. “Hi there!" she said.  "Do you need help with anything?”

______I regarded her hesitantly.  The lady was peppy and pretty, as most makeup store ladies are, and I managed to sputter a quick, “Oh, no thank you—I think I’ve got it for now!” before she could begin her spiel about sales and offers and the like.  I knew she could see the perplexed look on my face, so I quickly skittered off, away from her line of vision.  I shifted my attention to a random counter of lipsticks and started lining color swatches up my hand, feeling marginally paranoid and perhaps even a tad frightened.  I could feel the lady watching from afar.  Her glances seared into me like hot needles every time her eyes glazed across the store and across me.

______After my hand was covered up to my wrist in color and my lips were splotched with nuances of red stain, I not only looked like I was covered in the blood of my enemies that I had slain and devoured, but also probably resembled a five-year old who ravaged her mother’s makeup drawer.  The lady's burning eyes were burning more now.

______Okay, I get it! was all I could think.  You win. I submit.

______I peeked over at the lady and she gazed back at me.  A smile twitched at the corner of her lips.  I looked and felt a little pathetic.  I wiped as much of the red from my lips as I could, and I’m more than certain there was some on my cheek that I’d missed as well.

______I uneasily walked toward the lady, who was now beaming at me.  Laughing hesitantly, I began, “Yeah, so I haven’t ever really bought any red lipstick before… and I think I need some help, it’s like my first time… My first red lipstick that I'm buying, my first time, one...”  Reflecting on that now, I'm pretty sure I could have worded what I was trying to say better.  Continuing on, I asked, “Can you help me find one? Does that—can you? I’m so new at this lipstick world thing.”  

______I said that.  I said lipstick world thing.  Ten socially awkward points to me.

______The lady was listening eagerly and nodded half-heartedly at my plea.  Then she glanced to the ceiling, as if regarding the Sephora gods would give her an idea of what to bestow upon me, and suddenly clicked one of her heels to the floor and went, “Ooh! I’ve got the perfect thing.” And she dawdled off to the rear of the store.  I followed her musical footsteps, glancing uneasily at the store chock full of beauty gunk around me as I went, still trying to rub some of the remnants of lip stain from my face.

______She plucked a flattened tube from a random assortment of lipsticks and immediately pushed me toward the makeup counter, which was finished with even more mysterious makeup doo-dads and an enormous mirror enrobed in spherical lights.  It was smack dab in the middle of the store, of course, so when people walked by outside they could watch you with their beady little eyes.  Perfect.

______“Do you want to try this on?” the lady asked, precariously holding the tube up as if it was an illicit drug.  And I nodded.  “Okay, I’m going to put it on you.”  I gave her another nod and smile, allowing her permission to transgress my personal bubble.  She motioned for me to sit and I did, and awkwardly so, and leaned a little bit toward her.  She twisted the tube and inched the lip brush toward my face.  I didn’t know what to expect, so I just half-opened my mouth and tried to poof my lips outward like girls do in their Facebook pictures, and she began brushing this deep red stain on my lips.

______And it felt like she was trying to seduce me or something, you guys.  I mean, to set the scene, this lady was quite dashing in terms of her looks: flaming red hair, a dusting of freckles, and blue eyes set like sapphires in her skin.  And here she was, leisurely applying the most cherry red lip stain upon my lips, her hand lightly brushing my face as she went, all with a deep concentration saturating her eyes.  During the whole process there was an air of tension that lingered, pushing and pulling us about like magnetic waves with ever-changing intensities.  She would glance from my lips to my eyes and to my lips again.  I would be lying if I said there wasn’t some bizarre sexual tension going on there, because there totally was, and I’m straight as an uncooked fettucini noodle.

______I digress. Those are transient feelings and nothing more.  When the lady had finished her task, I held my reflection in the mirror, contemplating this fierce new look.  It was indeed a bright cherry red, and maybe a little obnoxious, but I could tell that I would grow into to it.  I liked it. 

______The lady considered her delicate work.  “It looks stunning on you," she said dreamily, dusting a layer of something sparkly and pale on my cheeks.  "It’s a little bright, but you’ll get used to it.  You might need lip liner, but it really is a stunning shade.”  Ah, she believed it to be stunning on me.  Of course you do, sweet makeup lady, I thought.  You just tried to seduce me.

______I hopped from the swivel chair and thanked her for the little demo/seducement.  She dropped the tube of lip stain into its rectangular silver box and handed it to me, and I meandered to the back of the store to check out.  On the way out of the store, the lady watched me one last time, smiling as if she was watching her firstborn child run off to her first day of school.  I waved sheepishly at the lady as I exited Sephora, feeling much less fearful about the intimidating makeup store and a shade more brave, just like my fellow lipstick-wearing lady herself.



Peter pan collar top: Forever 21
Skirt: Charlotte Russe ($3, holla atcha girrrrl)
Oxford heels: Jeffrey Campbell
Necklace: pressie from brother
Earrings: pressie from brother's girlfriend, also vintage
Lips: Hourglass
Hair: sporadically styled by Momma Hval