Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Baby's First Mosh Pit


______I went to my first real concert last Thursday night, you guys. Perhaps you've heard of AFI, short for A Fire Inside, also known as a metaphor for my middle school existence: composed of angst, sorrow, and studs, they owned the stage that night and the audience before them. I would have never expected them to come to a place near me, but lo and behold, they did. So I managed to get a dear friend of mine to abide me and we did jam like the jammiest of fruit concentrates. As we sang and  to all the familiar AFI tunes, the horrors of middle school flooding back into our thoughts, he suddenly asked, "You want to go up?" I wasn't sure what he meant, and then it clicked.


______Nodding then subsequently putting on a mask of urbane swag, I shout-asked a random fellow to my friend's right, "Can you help me up?"

______And within an instant, I was floating above a sea of undulating hands, unable to control the direction or velocity at which I was being transported. I was a helpless turtle on its back being guided solely by the black-clad human beings below me. My hands were scrunched in toward my core and flailing ever so slightly, and my mouth was most definitely producing screaming noises. I was just being so hardcore in that moment, you guys. Such. A. Punk.

______Take me to your leader, I thought, and as if the shaking bodies below me heard such thoughts, my being was slowly transported toward the stage, and closer, and closer... I saw a strobing blue light,  heads furnished with mowhawks, ears gaged with chrome, the lead singer's combat boots, and even gazed up for a short second to meet eyes with him for a bloody 1/60th of a second. The best 0.01666666 seconds of my life, naturally.

______I did the math for that fraction. Don't check it.

______Suddenly, my shoulders dropped and my body slanted at an angle toward the ground. As soon as I knew it, I was half-cradled, half-flopped in the muscly arms of a security guy who skillfully slipped me upright and onto my feet. It was plausible he had done this many times before.

______"You okay?" he asked with a half-laugh. I nodded, but apologized immediately for being in the empty lane between stage and crowd, and waddled back toward the chanting swarm of black-clad human beings with my tail between my legs. As quickly as possible, I integrated myself seamlessly into the dark blob of thrashing organic matter. Don't you just adore how I refer to people as thrashing organic matter? I do.


______When the moshing began, I did not know it had. I had always presumed that moshing was nothing more than highly intensified fist-pumping and jumping, much more energetic than the usual kinetic motion that reverberates through concert-goers' bodies. What happened was that all of a sudden, I realized that these turdbuckets next to me were shoving each other. Like, chill you guys. This is AFI. We are a chill folk: act like it.

______But then.
______But then.

______But then, a sweaty man with a ginger beard and a rubbery belly smacked into me. His momentum propelled me into one of the three long-haired Gothic Fabio-bros that had been swaying peacefully alongside my friend and I the entire concert. From there, Gothic Fabio One propelled me into Gothic Fabio Two with a hearty shove of both hands. I felt absolutely betrayed since we were all bros signing along and smiling and stabbing the air with our hands just a moment ago. Now, the brotherhood had been ruthlessly torn apart, like a piece of bread unable to be mended, and so tossing all logic aside, I shoved Gothic Fabio One back at his other two clones. They seemed unfazed and continued to shoulder into whoever they could.


______From there, I dashed away from the mad mosh-y merriment, dodging the wild Spartans about me like a football star and using my arms to bounce from one human to the next. I was a pinball in a game of flashing lights and shifting obstacles, and the floor was my beer-and-sweat-drenched battlefield. Taking care not to slip, I took refuge behind a chill couple in their mid-thirties who were surveying the situation with eyes saturated with wisdom and amusement.

______I was so not being hardcore in that moment, you guys.

______But it was no matter, because the evening was rad nonetheless, and I zipped back to the center of the floor when the moshing ceased. The presence of the lead singer (and love of my life), Davey Havok, gave off the presence that he presented in his videos, interviews, and tunes, but he performed above and beyond what I thought. He did all his jumps, hair flips, and sassy Davey-gestures were just the way I imagined in the flesh, if not better. I did fangirl. Hashtag no shame.

______What was your first concert experience like, if you had one? If not, what's your favorite steamed vegetable?


Boheme.Fille said...

These photos are incredible! Love them all!
Btw, have you read my comment on one of your previous posts where I've tagged you for a challenge?
You can read more here: http://boheme-fille.blogspot.ro/2014/10/wearpinkchallenge.html.

Ivana Split said...

I think my first real concert was that of a well known Croatian dance group Colonia...they're still actually quite good and though I'm more metal/rock kind of girl I would surely love to visit their concert again because the energy of the singer (Indira) is fantastic.

I don't go to concerts that often anymore but when I do I usually have a great time.

I immensely enjoyed your 'first concert experience' tale...very entertaining! you have a way with words....

Jess Fets said...

I've been to a lot of concerts, but all pretty chill. I went to a lot of concerts at county fairs....I think my first ever real concert was Panic! At the Disco though! hahaha! My favorite steamed veggie on the other hand is green beans, still a little bit crisp.

Rachel said...

You crowd-surfed?? That's pretty crazy. I might do that. But the "moshing" doesn't sound fun to me. The only 'real' concert I've been to was a Darius Rucker concert and I was probably among the youngest there, because I think most of the rest were at least old enough to remember him from Hootie & the Blowfish (generation gap, because I had no idea what Angel was talking about).

The Braided Bandit said...

This post is so good! I have been in a mosh pit before but have never crowd surfed - you are so bad ass gf! My favorite steamed vegetable is: broccoli with cheese ;0)

jess said...

Crowdsurfing sounds great. I've never really liked the idea of moshing. My first concert was Britney Spears it was really cool!

LyddieGal said...

As first concerts go, yours sounds pretty epic. I can't believe you crowd surfed! I can't say I've ever even had the opportunity but I doubt I would take it if I did.

My first concert was Jimmy Eat World some 12 years ago - I remember getting shoved around a bit, but I was with my older brother and he kept me squarely planted in front of him the whole time.

Also loving your experiments with self portraiture!


Jamie Rose D. said...

Ahaha mosh pits are so dumb. I would probably die if I got caught in one. I love that you got to crowd surf though! It sounds like it was quite an experience! My first concert was a huge Aerosmith and Cheap Trick concert so it was awesome but pretty tame. I've been to a ton since then but I don't recall much crowd surfing or any moshing. I prefer to chill while listening to the music!

Jamie | PetitePanoply.com

caffinatedlove said...

1) loving your eye for detail in these self-portraits!

2) I have never been to a rowdy concert because I'm sort of lame. I can't hide from it.

3)I like steamed broccoli.



Linda B said...

Haha, oh my word, you got to crowd surf?? That's one of my bucket list goals :D Next concert maybe...hehe
You said AFI, and immediately I had so many flashbacks. Yowza. You lucky girl! I can't imagine what they'd be like live <3 <3 <3
Anyway, way to kick off your first concert experience!
Though the moshpitting does scare me too...I suppose we'll have to work up to that level of hard core, eh?
ANYWAY. These photos? Are stunning. You have a beautiful eye for photos and adding the bubble wrap was genius!

The Dragonfruit Diaries

Windi Wuisan said...

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Keit said...

Bahhaaha, you are SOOO hardcore, regardless of what you say :D You did crowd surfing for fuck's sake, I would be kind of scared from this :D
Ah yes, I was situated in a moshing by mistake, barely made it out alive :D I wasn't meant to be pushed :D
First concert experience I had was Metallica....It was okay I guess, it rained hail, we wore raincoats but they didn't save us from the icy shards falling down the sky :D
Second concert was Rammstein, almost wet my pants from joy!
OMG, Allie, these photos are so creepy and beautiful at the same time! And the last one - I sense a little Dexter inspiration :D

Kristian said...

Ha! Such a neat experience and very well told (you've always a way with words). The title of this post is fantastic too.

I've been to concerts before- but often country or folk music or at any rate the ones where people were in chairs most of the time (though Nickel Creek played in open gyms where everyone just kinda stood). My first "real" concert was at Sturgis Bike Rally, so there were motor bikes revving and topless chicks (think like New Orleans style); no moshing or crowd surfing though. It was Gretchen Wilson and that group that sings Sweet Home Alabama one night and Fog Hat, Joe Cocker and Tom Petty the other.

Midwest Muse said...

This is awesome. You look wonderful and these photos are stunning. I love AFI's first few records so much and I admire Davey because he's straight edge and has such a cool voice and lyrics that sting.

Olivia said...

I always just love reading your blog posts! They are so well written and engaging. I have never crowd surfed before but have always wanted to. Your experience makes me want to do it even more! And my favorite concert was seeing Matt and Kim this past spring. It rained like crazy and everyone was just dancing (I danced on a table). People were crowd surfing and drinking and smoking (college concert) and I was able to get on a guys shoulders which was a lot of fun! Word of advice though, don't wear a dress and heels to a concert. You're only looking for trouble. Thank you for sharing, I loved reading it!
xo Olivia

Jodie said...

:O oh my god I can't believe you crow surfed- you're so COOL!!! Super jealous of you :)
Sounds like an awesome gig and I have to agree with you about the noshing I hate it too. The moment I feel even the slightest push I'm out if there- there's nothing more painful than an elbow to the boob.

E said...

You're so brave! I always avoided mosh pits like the plague. My first concert (and I'm not proud of this) was 311... yup...

Elizabeth H said...

These pictures are absolutely gorgeous! I think I'm in love

And I'd have to agree with you on the moshing. That doesn't really sound like something I would enjoy! But damn girl I'm impressed with the crowd surfing. I've been to concerts where people have done that but never done it myself!