Monday, December 14, 2015

Fictitious Goat Encounter


 ______"GOATS FOR SALE," blared a sign from the distance. The sign was plastered to a tree, crooked from months or years of wind, and written in hastily painted red letters. A tuft of leaves fell over a part of the word "GOATS" like a punk rock singer's hair over one of his eyes, but it was still legible._Something within me stirred. Anticipation, perhaps. A hopeful taste of what was to come._

 ______I was biking up a hill and my eyes darted left and right, eagerly awaiting an awe-inspiring vision of goats with every downward push of the pedals.  An angelic choir sung in my head.  There were many farms around the back roads I biked, but they were always filled with horses or cows.  Never before had I seen goats.  The morning fog misted over my glasses as if a hoard of those winged babies that appear in Renaissance paintings was spitting on them, and it was quiet, quiet as could be.


 ______And that was when I saw them: beyond a wirey fence tamed only by the weeds curling around its gridded structure, there they were, all staring eyes and furry bodies that resembled something gone wrong in a synthetic fiber making plant.

 ______I slowed my bike to a leisurely pace and hopped off it, maintaining eye contact with the goats. The goats and I neared each other like two awestruck hipsters in a Starbucks who were about to compare beard lengths. 

 ______They were huddled against the fence, each squirming to get in front of the other, stepping on each other's hooves and shuffling about the grass. Their hooves stomped the dewy grass and some of them snorted and shook their gnarly little beards. A few "baaaa-ed" at me, their slitted eyes blinking, their heads undulating like fishing bobbers in water.


 ______"My dad doesn't believe in your existence," I whispered to the goats. They licked their furry goat-lips eagerly as if I was formulated from the finest rubber boots and day-old newspapers (I hear they prefer The Wall Street Journal over The New York Times). Alas, I was not made of such goat-enticing materials. I was only made of Ali, which is only rich in ingredients like local drugstore lipstick, fabric clippings, and cinnamon. I suppose the tennis shoes I was wearing at the time could have called out to them, but it was not likely.

 ______I carried on with my message to the goats.

 ______"He thinks you're not real. He doesn't believe me when I say I saw all of you." The goats listened intently, or perhaps they just wanted to gnaw at my tasty-looking bike tires. Rubber is a siren to goats, or so I've heard. You should fact check that. I definitely did not fact check that. In fact, I rarely fact check anything and the words I blog should never be cited in an academic paper.


 ______I continued, "I've seen you before and now I'm seeing you again."

 ______A goat with eyebrows fuzzier than the fuzziest caterpillar in all of fuzzy caterpillar land came forth.
 ______"He is not a believer," the goat said. Did that goat just speak? A car whizzed by rather closely and I increased my distance toward the fence. I whipped around to see a man in a red Ford giving me an odd look as he zoomed by.

 ______Did I hear that? I turned back toward the fence.

 ______And as if they were never there, the goats were gone.


Dress: KnowStyle (similar)
Boots: Corral
Kimono: Alter'd State (similar)
Necklace: ???
Earrings: Charming Charlie
Bunny ring: Claire's
Hair: styled by momma, as always :)


Frannie Pantz said...

Whoa. This story was amazing. But I still want goats!!!! We don't live in the country enough, but they are so cute!!! And speaking of cute--this outfit! Whoa mama!! Love the boots and that dress! As my 15 year old son would say (much to my dismay) dem legs dough. (Not sure if that is how to spell the slang--I'm too old for this.)

ChocolateFashionCoffee said...

just love this look, dear :)

ChocolateFashionCoffee Facebook Page

Isti Sugiharti said...

OMG you're so pretty and I really like the kimono!
Would you like to follow each other? :D

Isti Sugiharti said...

OMG you're so pretty and I really like the kimono!
Would you like to follow each other? :D

Diana FZ said...

Nice dress, have a good day

Kati said...

What a cute look today, I love the cardigan so much and the boots are pretty adorable, too!

Have a nice day,

Sarah Albertson said...

What a funny story! I saw some goats living in somebody's yard near my house, and I live in the city! When I went back a while later, they were gone! Lovely outfit. :)

Kelsey Bang said...

those boots are awesome! I like how you styled your hair!

Straight A Style said...

Great kimono!

Amy Ann
Straight A Style

Danielle said...

how funny! your look is really cute & your hair looks so pretty!

danielle | avec danielle

Lily Fang said...

Ali, I always can't help but chuckle at your unique, witty tales. What a biking adventure--the imagery is on point. Your similes also crack me up--I especially like the Starbucks hipster one.

So jealous that it's warm enough to wear dresses in Alabama now. Your kimono is the perfect touch to that versatile maroon dress, and the jewelry is too darling--those geometric earrings and your cat ring are so cute!

Wishing you the best <3

imperfect idealist

LyddieGal said...

That is a very mysterious goat encounter. Well, I believe they are real.
Love your itty-bitty honeycomb earrings.
Chic on the Cheap

Kristian said...

So.... in real life, have you never seen goats? My in-laws raise goats, and I'm really not sure they are that magical (though the kids are cute and the one breed that has googly looking eyes are pretty funny-looking), but they can be fun!

At any rate, with those fun cowboy boots, maybe you'll make it up to a goat farm one of these days! I don't even like cowboy boots (says the girl who lives where there's a nightly rodeo....) but yours are gorgeous!!

The Dragonfruit said...

Wait, how much of this was fact and how much was storytelling? I can't tell anymore!
Lol come visiiiiiit Ali, we have plenty of goats in Idaho ^_^
It reminds me of when I was little and would practically drag my dad to take me to the petting zoo. I'd spend hours in that pen, surrounded by animals and fawning over the goats. Ahhh, memories!
Love love love this outfit by the way. That kimono is fabulous and the fact that you're sporting cowboy boots adds to your awesomeness level. Which was already sky high, just so you know!

The Dragonfruit Diaries
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