Monday, January 11, 2016
The Secret Life Of
_____We all have that one secret dream we think about on occasion, that one dream that's sprouted inside of ours heads but will never reach reality, simply because it is incredibly inane.
_____Before I fall asleep and dream of wild things, I think about skipping through a green field that's sprinkled with the plumpest of chickens. I shit you not when I say my secret dream life would be that of a chicken tamer. Uh, maybe that's not the correct terminology. A purveryor of chickens? A chicken collector? Hmmm... how about...
_____A chicken handler.
_____I would not slaughter my chickens for the tasty nuggets which derive from their chunky bodies, oh no no. Mostly I would just observe them and how they navigate through their practical chicken lifestyle, occasionally intercepting to hug their soft bodies whenever my heart so desired. Have you ever seen very healthy fat chickens in person? Their feathers puff from their body, they can be beautiful shades of gold, of heathered grey and white, of inky black...
_____They are magical. I swear it.
_____And the way they walk! The way they walk is so pure and modest: their feathers ruffle with every step, their bodies wobble like a bobber in the water, and their eyes are large and beady as black pearls.
_____Don't even get me started on their fluffy chicken butts. Ugh. So much love and adoration for Gallus galls domesticus. That's right. You now know the scientific name for a chicken.
_____I imagine scenarios of how I would take care of these chickens. What if there was a severe storm? We (implying that I am married at this time, because someone would be psychotic enough to marry a chicken fanatic) would bring them indoors, and they would survey the human house. Imagine a bunch of fluffy chickens clucking around a typical household or cuddled up with you as you watch the TV.
_____They would wonder why a man on a flat screen expanded so insistently upon the weather radar behind him. They would peck at the glass cookie jar, wondering why they couldn't get through the transparent surface holding the goodies in. They would cluck and caw and do all sorts of chicken things.
_____Like pooping on stuff.
_____But we will not focus on chicken poop. We will focus on the positive, and the positive... well, it would be the dream.
Jacket: Barbour (gift from daddy Hval!)
Top: Charlotte Russe (similar)
Skirt: Charlotte Russe (exact)
Boots: Jeffrey Campbell
Hair: styled by my talented momma
(ask in comments for additional details)