Thursday, May 22, 2014

Becoming Ladyface


 ______Centuries ago when I was but a wee sprout rooted in my childhood home, I was blessed with the roomiest closet in all the land. This closet spanned the length of a school bus and was just as wide minus the seats. Down the left side, my clothes hung in a tidy row; down the right, Polly Pocket kits, Lego sets, and what was basically Barbieville dominated the intersection of carpet and wall. My closet was a dreamy haven for a young girl.

 ______One day, I was stumbling through my mom's bathroom drawers, most likely searching fervently for a sensational nail polish with tiny foil stars in it; however, instead of stumbling across a glitzy nail covering, I unearthed a stack of those large winged pads for women. 

 ______I unwrapped one and studied it intently. 

 ______What were these objects?


______Of course, I had not the faintest idea that they were feminine hygiene products meant to be shoved in underwear like some giant diaper sticker. Nope, the first thought that popped into my young head was, "Jackpot! Sleeping cots for my Barbies! BARBIE SLEEPOVER!" And so I snatched a few and dashed immediately to my closet like a sugar addict out of a bakery. 

______I plopped my Barbies on their fun new cots. Surely, my Barbies were absolutely elated that they could finally have a sleepover, 'cause there was no way they could have all fit in a single tiny Barbie bed. But now they had sleeping cots and could all chill in the same location. What a darn pleasant time. What a darn pleasant day. There was nothing quite like the highly saturated, pink-drenched world of Barbies, you guys.


______Inevitably enough, one afternoon my mother stumbled into my closet and across the unsettling sight of her pads encompassing the Barbie bed in a well-spaced circle, like a Stone Henge crafted from pads and Barbies wearing cutely patterned sleepwear. She most likely presumed there was some ritualistic ceremony going down and that her daughter would soon be slinging dark curses and chants about, along with sporting hooded velvet robes and smudges of black around her eyes. My mother found me and questioned what exactly I was doing with them, and I sheepishly sputtered how they were just having a Barbie sleepover. I felt oddly guilty.

______That was when young Ali had an early lesson on what the true intentions of these unearthly cots were. Needless to say, I was absolutely horrified and my Barbies didn't partake in any more sleepovers after I learned where those pads were really meant to go.

______Have you guys ever had a misconception about something during your childhood?


Dress: Know-Style (similar)
Necklace: idk I won it somehow on the interwebs
Booties: Charlotte Russe (similar)
Rose earrings: Charming Charlie
Stud bracelet: Charming Charlie (similar)


Katie Aman said...

Hehehe, one hears so many stories of young tots who have other plans for their mother's feminine products. No one quite knows what they're used for until they go through puberty and are forced to learn. That is hilarious.
And was your closet really that large? I am insanely jealous! We tried to find a house with large closets but it is incredibly difficult!

You look just as cute and lovely as ever! I'm really enjoying the adorable pigtails you've been wearing lately, they seem to fit so well with your fun personality :) I love that dress too and with the red boots it just makes it even better! I've always loved leopard and red together.

Also, I looked through your past two posts as well and Ali, your art is seriously wonderful! The comics were great and it's no wonder they hired you for the summer-they can see how talented and special your work is!
Happy almost Friday to you too my dear :D

Alissa said...

What a friggin doll you are. I can't even handle your porcelain perfection!

Rachel said...

bwahahaha!! Oh man, that's quite a story. Your closet did sound pretty awesome, though! And those rose earrings are awesome.

Kristian said...

That is hilarious and adorable. When my sister and I were very young, we went through a phase...well, not so much a phase as necessity took over when we played with our barbies. Since barbie clothes are so hard for little hands to get on and off we just... didn't put any on. We imagined what their clothes looked like. To my dad, it looked more like we had set up a nudist colony. Oops. No more unclothed dolls, after that.

Also, you look great in this.

Sampada said...

Oh my gosh that is such a great anecdote! I remember seeing ads for pads and asking my mom what they were -- she didn't entirely lie and said they were like diapers for older girls.

Either way, love your dress and cute boots!

Rin Handika said...

really lvoe your leopard dress and those red boots! Look so chic! <3

t said...

cool boots!

xo T.

Jamie Rose said...

Ahahaha what a wonderful tale! They really would be good Barbie beds! Man, I had so so many Barbies and Barbie stuff but there was always room for improvisation.

But anyway, I'm basically in love with this outfit. Hooray for leopard print! This dress looks awesome on you and I love your red boots too. The pigtails are a great touch!


Such a good story, hehe. Oh, the things we used to do when we were children. I'm sure there are loads of misconceptions about things of my childhood. Anyway, you look gorgeous, and I love the dress! Happy weekend.
Fashion Tales Blog

Jacqueline Stewart said...

bahhahahhaaa, loving this one. My ex boyfriend (who is one of 13 children) discovered his old sisters' pads and decided they would make perfect ramps and roads for his toy cars. :) Gorgeous boots too :D

Ivana Split said...

You're hilarious Ali! This story really made me laugh:) Ah, being a woman isn't easy...As far as I remember, I didn't have any wrong ideas about these hygiene products but I'm sure I had my share of creative ideas about many things (like any kid.) ...and did not your conclusion make perfect sense? I mean these things are made of cotton, right?

Today's outfit is so ladylike...yup, animal print dress and red shoes signals a definite step into adulthood and you make a stunning young lady in this!:) I love how this still feels just your style...maybe because of those adorable boots( I don't remember seeing you in animal print very often but you sure look cute in it)

Keit said...

You sexy thing!!! This dress is top top shelf! O_O Sassy!

Hahaha, poor barbies! :D
My parents had these weird pills in a cabinet. They looked like golden, squishy marbles and I used to dissect them to see what they had inside. My parent's weren't very happy when they find out :D

Alexandra Marie said...

Oh my gosh, hahaha- that is so funny! Love it <3 Alex

Jodie said...

Amazing dress. Ha he ha your Barbie pad story is amaxing, strangely my boyfriend once told me the same story when he found one for his action man. All the best people make fun fron feminine hygiene products :)

megcasson said...


Boheme.Fille said...

Haha, you really made my day! Very funny story!

Those boots of yours are perfection, perfection I tell ya!

Frannie Pantz said...

LOL No I never had anything like that happen to me, but that story is just too funny!

I love the red and leopard. A classic combo. Great collar necklace too!

peach said...

lovely post :) I really enjoy reading your blog! haha keep in touch x Peach

365HANGERS said...

Such a cute story, and so brilliant. Kind of wishing we thought to put our barbie dolls in pads for sleeping bags lol. Anyhow just wanted to let you know how much we adore your shoes.


Sam said...

Hi Ali, I love reading your tales, not only because they are exceptionally written but they are hilarious too. This one really cracked me up, I can only imagine your glee at that age finding comfy beds for you Barbies. All in the name of innocent fun. Love this leopard print skater dress, its something I would buy if I saw it in stores, love the boots with it. I am so happy to hear you are enjoying your job, its whats makes getting up in the morning much easier. Thanks so much for stopping by...wishing you a productive week ahead!

mochaccinoland said...

u look so cute here! only u could make leopard print looks so adorable!!!


Delores Harshaw said...

Such a cute look and hilarious story. I wish I could see a photo of your closet set-up and the Barbie "cots."

Linda B said...

Oh my word, you had me in stitches Ali! Bahaha, Barbie sleepover! xD That's so hilarious.
All I remember is when I was about 3 or 4, mom was wheeling me around the supermarket, and as we went down the feminine hygiene aisle, I excitedly pointed at the pads. "Mommy's diaper, mommy's diaper!"
She never wheeled that cart so fast. Hehe, so there's my misconception about them.
Anyway, you look lovely in leopard, and extra spicy with those red boots! Yes, I just said spicy, because that's what you are Ali! :)

The Dragonfruit Diaries

Samantha said...

And this is why I love your blog! Well, one of the many reasons.You had me laughing so hard with this story! I could picture it all so vividly. I never made beds out of pads for my dolls, but being of the lower class (ahem) I used to cut of the hair of my barbies when I had to wait for Christmas to get a Ken doll. They sure didn't look like men!

And this needs to be said again, Ali. How can one girl have so many gifts in life?! Your art, your writing and then the obvious dashing good lucks and dapper style?!

And yeah, you look smokin' in that leopard print dress and those red boots!

Helen said...

Hahahahaa that story made me laugh so much! Bless you. Fab outfit too, I love the red boots :D

Loving your blog, followed!

Helen xx

LyddieGal said...

The world was so much more fun back then... I mean, it's pretty good now but when there was a time closets could hold more than you'd ever imagine and maxi pads were only needed for barbie sleep overs, it just will never be as good.

Chic on the Cheap

Shannon Jenkins said...

Haha!!! Love your story! That is too cute!! Absolutely love this dress in you and those red booties are perfect!!

<3 Shannon

samantha vergara said...

Would you like to follow each other on GFC, bloglovin, instagram and lookbook?
follow me and follow you back =)

Tahnee Reynolds-Hopkins said...

You are too cute with great style - come stop by sometime :)

Kierra Makayla said...

Your blog is beyond cute! Your dress and shoes are the perfect combination. Beautiful!

Alice in vintageland said...

I love your outfit, it looks so chic and comfortable at the same tine, I have a soft spot for animal print and the one in your dress is beyond amazing, you look adorable!

Pop Culture&Fashion Magic

Jo said...

Can I just say that I'm insanely jealous of your school bus wide closet? I could make do with this space of yours now. And I can imagine what a little haven your closet was. I almost choked on my water when I read about what you did to your Barbies. Barbies must have felt real odd knowing what they were sleeping on. Really love all your little anecdotes of life. They are beautifully crafted and always so witty and hilarious all at once.