Becoming Ladyface

 ______Centuries ago when I was but a wee sprout rooted in my childhood home, I was blessed with the roomiest closet in all the land. This closet spanned the length of a school bus and was just as wide minus the seats. Down the left side, my clothes hung in a tidy row; down the right, Polly Pocket kits, Lego sets, and what was basically Barbieville dominated the intersection of carpet and wall. My closet was a dreamy haven for a young girl.

 ______One day, I was stumbling through my mom's bathroom drawers, most likely searching fervently for a sensational nail polish with tiny foil stars in it; however, instead of stumbling across a glitzy nail covering, I unearthed a stack of those large winged pads for women. 

 ______I unwrapped one and studied it intently. 

 ______What were these objects?



______Of course, I had not the faintest idea that they were feminine hygiene products meant to be shoved in underwear like some giant diaper sticker. Nope, the first thought that popped into my young head was, "Jackpot! Sleeping cots for my Barbies! BARBIE SLEEPOVER!" And so I snatched a few and dashed immediately to my closet like a sugar addict out of a bakery. 

______I plopped my Barbies on their fun new cots. Surely, my Barbies were absolutely elated that they could finally have a sleepover, 'cause there was no way they could have all fit in a single tiny Barbie bed. But now they had sleeping cots and could all chill in the same location. What a darn pleasant time. What a darn pleasant day. There was nothing quite like the highly saturated, pink-drenched world of Barbies, you guys.




______Inevitably enough, one afternoon my mother stumbled into my closet and across the unsettling sight of her pads encompassing the Barbie bed in a well-spaced circle, like a Stone Henge crafted from pads and Barbies wearing cutely patterned sleepwear. She most likely presumed there was some ritualistic ceremony going down and that her daughter would soon be slinging dark curses and chants about, along with sporting hooded velvet robes and smudges of black around her eyes. My mother found me and questioned what exactly I was doing with them, and I sheepishly sputtered how they were just having a Barbie sleepover. I felt oddly guilty.

______That was when young Ali had an early lesson on what the true intentions of these unearthly cots were. Needless to say, I was absolutely horrified and my Barbies didn't partake in any more sleepovers after I learned where those pads were really meant to go.

______Have you guys ever had a misconception about something during your childhood?




Dress: Know-Style (similar)
Necklace: idk I won it somehow on the interwebs
Booties: Charlotte Russe (similar)
Rose earrings: Charming Charlie
Stud bracelet: Charming Charlie (similar)